[My transcription of Aziz Ansari's stand up is below]

For my challenge day, I spent way too much time watching stand up comedians. In fact, I have a role model and his name Aziz Ansari. He's actually Tamil, just like I am.

He's gained a lot of success in movies, stand up and shows like Parks and Recreation. He's only 28. I am 25. Maybe If I follow this stand up comedy challenge to 28 I'll find success comparable to his, though I'm only looking at the 30 days for now.

One thing, in particular, that I like about him is that he's not dependent on "cultural jokes." The brown culture doesn't have to be the brunt of his jokes in order for him to be funny--not that I'm against that. I like that a brown comedian isn't pigeon holed into doing cultural comedy.

Another thing that I like about him is that his style reminds me of my communication when I'm not on stage. His facial expressions, intensity, story exaggeration and body language incorporate some of the things I do naturally. I haven't figured out how to translate my stories into great material and presentation like his, but I feel that his stand up is a key for me to understand mine.

So, I took one of my favorite clips of his, and transcribed it (I put it below his video). This took me a very long time (props to those secretaries in court cases that short hand everything). I'm looking through his material to find patterns or skeletons for a good routine. In no way am I trying to steal his material. I just need to learn some generic chords before I can write my own songs on this stand up comedy guitar.


MY TRANSCRIPTION (0:17-5:08)              *not grammatically correct

[I love harris because he has really odd choices in entertainment. You know how you see billboards for shows like burn notice. You're like who watches burn notice? Harris watches burn notices! Harris told me his senior quote is going to be TNT KNOWS DRAMA! You call up harris and say hey harris and you hear things like HEY HARRIS WHAT"S GOING ON? I'm piss off man, my dad just erased all my shows from the dvr. Guess I won't find out what happened on las vegas this week. Who Dvrs las vegas? Josh dumal doesn't dvr las vegas? And you don't get that joke because Josh dumal is a star of las vegas and NOBODY watches las vegas.

So I ask harris, i'm like hey harris you like the dark night.yeah. is it better than burn notice. Is it better than las vegas? yeah. Is it better than eating a cinnabon? No. And I knew that would get him because he's a little chubby guy and he loves shoving cinnabon into his little chubby face. yomyomyom. 

And I love that about him. I love that he's chubby. Because there's not a lot of chubby little indian kids. most of them are small and skinny like me. But every now and then you see a chubby one and it's awesome. It's like of like seeing a shooting star except for its fat brown and on the ground.

I found harris to be most entertaining to me when he's really angry at me, and I found the quickest way to get him angry is to f with him on facebook. He does not like it. He's got his little updates meticulously planned. Like harris just became a big fan of will smith, and i'll write up there F WILL SMITH. and he'll be like why did you do that?

And so one time I noticed that he was posting a lot on a study group for his world history class. And I was like I know what i'll do. I'll join the study group. I'll write all this dumb s on there and harris will get really pissed and it will be awesome. and that's exactly how that s went down

as soon as I started posting, i started getting all these angry ims from harris. He's like hey man you need to get off the boards! and I was like why? he's like the admins are getting on my case. and he posts his conversation he had with the admin, where their admin is like hey harris who 's aziz? my cousin. why do you ask? he goes he's posting on ap world wall. Do you know what period he has ap world? and harris writes in all caps. NOOOOO. you got to boot him out. With like 30 O's  like 30 w's and 50 exclamation points. and other people are starting to get suspicious of my presence on the board as well. Maybe because I'm supposed to be in the 9th grade and I have a full beard.

But I'm trying to act like I belong, right. That I'm in the class. I know what's up. So, there's was like a  controversy about this one quiz questions, and I'm like I know what i'll do. I'll go and independently do some research. And I'll post my findings on the board. They'll think I'm smart and belong in the class.So the next post I wrote was GUYS! I've been doing some research. I think the views on salvation in buddhism and christianity are far from similar. In Buddhism salvation is something one can only be achieved through the noble 8 fold path. where as in Christianity, salvation is given to all those whom accept Jesus Christ as their savior. quote. For whomever calls upon the name of the LORD shall be saved. romans 10 13. Hate to say it guys, but our teacher Mr. Eddlesteen is right. Bam!

And then I waited like two minutes, and I wrote this. Guys! I just got an email from Mr eddlesteen. He read what I wrote here and gave me an extra point on the quiz. He said I showed initiative and critical thinking skills. What a cool guy.
And then this kid replied WHAAAT! And then at this point, Harris got Fing furious.
He was like I don't know if you should've written that last wall post, aziz. I was like why? he goes what if people go in tomorrow. and say eddlesteen, I heard you gave aziz an extra point on the quiz. Can I get an extra point back to? Because I put the same thing he did. And He'll be like I don't teach aziz that person doesn't exist.

And I was like F you harris, I do exist.

And then he starts attacking me publicly on the boards. He writes in all caps AZIZ get out of this room! With like a bunch of exclamation points and then emoticons like rararara. And i was like what's that supposed to be harris? You eating cinnabon all day. And then I start mounting my offensive. I start poking him like crazy. I start sending him vampire requests whatever the f that is. He's like I don't know what's going on. And then he writes up there he goes Hey everyone if I were you I wouldn't go to eddlesteen and ask for points back on that question. I'm positive you wn't get the points back. and then I write. No guys. I just talked to eddlesteen again. You'll definitely get the points back. Just mention my name and the fact that I exist. F YOU HARRIS.]