Thankful to be a man [BabyDaddy Day 24]

Over the last few months, I've seen things I can't unsee. I've seen my wife's body do unimaginable things. The joy of birth is forever tainted by the reality of birth. 

I love women, but let me saying this primarily concerning the issue of birth...

I AM VERY THANKFUL TO BE A MAN.

Thank you Jesus. I'm serious. THANK YOU JESUS. Thank YOU for not letting me give birth. 

It's just a simple matter of measurement. The goal is to get a big object out of a small opening. And when that doesn't work, drugs are introduced to make it happen more forcefully. This is a recipe for pain. When it doesn't work, major surgery begins.

I saw the inside of my wife's body during the c-section surgery. I saw her torso cut open and layers of tissue and muscles pulled to the side. The doctors told me not to look, but I looked and I couldn't help but think...

THANK YOU JESUS.

I AM VERY THANKFUL TO BE A MAN. 

Ladies, I'm sorry. Seriously. Are you okay?

Don't Touch My Kid [BabyDaddy Day 23]

Obi is a cute baby. Believe me, I get it. 

Be that as it may, stranger at the airport, did you really just touch my son.

Without asking me? Without washing your hands? 

This baby is going to make a germophobe out of me. Let's be real, I never washed my hands before this season of life (just kidding, but seriously). But now, I don't want strangers at the airport touching his face with what I can only assume to be poop soaked hands.

I understand he's cute, but that's no reason to usher a disease into his face. 

Have strangers touched your baby?

P.S. 

This blog is not a passive aggressive way to tell people I know not to touch Obi. 

It's like the first time [BabyDaddy Day 22]

Mundane experiences are exciting because I'm seeing them through Obadiah's eyes and I'm afraid of accidentally killing him. 

Going anywhere with Obi is an adrenaline inducing event. Last week, I drove to the Flint airport to pick up my dad and nearly had a panic attack--I ended up leaving the airport without my dad, headed home and had to go back to get him two hours later. 

Walking to the end of my driveway, two weeks ago, with my baby, scared me. I was so high strung, I almost fought a grandpa jogging on the road for no reason (she had no idea). 

I'm on high alert doing normal boring things.

Beyond the danger, things that lost their excitement are interesting again. Watching Obi touch water reminds me of my first experiences with it. Listening to my dad make fart noises around Obi isn't boring or annoying. Walking through the woods, Obi twists his neck back and forth to take it all in and it makes me take everything in. 

There are so many experiences I want to give Obi because I get to see his beautiful wonder. I get to experience the world again as a father. I get to relive life through his eyes. 

This is awesome. The world is amazing. Thanks, Obi. 

Hidden War Stories [BabyDaddy Day 21]

Every parent I've met has a painful story about raising a child. 

I've heard stories that make me feel guilty for venting about my situation. Even parents who seem to have it all together, resonate with moments of total breakdown. 

• "There are so many times I just broke down crying"
• "Sometimes I just walked away from my baby because I didn't want to shake her"
• "I was on bed rest for months"
• "My child stayed in the hospital for two months after being born"

We all have these "war" stories, yet I didn't hear about them until I shared my own. People are very willing to comfort, but from my experience, most parents are not willing to be vulnerable or transparent until someone else takes the first step. Maybe it's to protect our image and project strength or simply not be a burden. 

I wish I would have known more of the war stories of the people around me as the war waged. I could have played a comforting and supporting role. When I share about my challenging situations, whether on a blog or in person, I've found people more than willing to listen, assist, and pray--it's heart wrenching to know many new parents could have received this kind of love, but didn't. 

If only more people were willing to be vulnerable and transparent before the victory finalized, we'd all have more opportunities to give and receive love. 

Sharing your story in the midst of the battle gives someone the chance to help you.

Sharing our story and pain has opened the doors for amazing relationships--I'll share more on that later. 

Death to Minimalism [BabyDaddy Day 20]

Recently I read a book about minimalism and purged 60% of all my clothing and household items. This minimalistic mindset saves me lots of money, eliminates clutter, and prevents me from suffering decision fatigue (deciding what clothes I have to wear, etc.).   

As soon as I made room for my minimalistic de-cluttered lifestyle, baby preparation started filling it back up. He's taken over my closet, man cave and car. 

This kid is 5 weeks old and owns more stuff than me. From baby showers to friends and family wanting to spoil Obi, this 5 week old human is living the materialistic dream.

It doesn't help either that he looks so cute in everything. Today, we dedicated him to God in front of our church, and I refused to put him on stage without some formal clothing. Yesterday, I rallied a group to drive 60 minutes round trip to find him a onesie with a bow-tie. 

Just around the time I feel guilty for buying him an outfit he'll outgrow in two weeks, I'm inspired by his cuteness and buy him a few more outfits for the next week. 

I can't go into Target without wondering if their is another cute sleepsack or baby contraption I haven't discovered yet. 

With each purchase, my minimalism dream dies a little more and my decision fatigue grows. 

Just what I need, another form of fatigue. 

Embarrassed of my Son [BabyDaddy Day 19]

Amreitha and I loved going out to eat. 

I mean to say, Amreitha and I used to love going out to eat. 

Now, instead of enjoying the luxury of indecisively scanning a menu, people watching, and dismissing the guilt of eating out too much, we spend our time preventing Obi from crying. From trying to figure out how to turn a high chair upside down for a car seat (still has never worked because the high chairs are imbalanced) to cleaning the spit up on his face, it's a lot of work. 

While our servers serve us, we serve him (and pay money to do it).

I hate it when he cries in a semi-quiet public environment and people's meals and stranger's conversations are interrupted. I get really embarrassed and look for a bathroom and a quick get away plan.

Sometimes I just pretend not to be related to that hair brown baby sitting next to me (never works for some reason). 

 In reality, I don't think the strangers are as upset and annoyed as me. Yesterday, after Obi cried in a restaurant, a couple made a point to congratulate Amreitha and me on the newborn baby. 

From my experience, people are excited to see a baby and aren't as sensitive as I am to his little noises. Still, we're a lot less likely to eat out. 

At least we're saving money eating a home. 

What's the most embarrassing thing your child has done in a restaurant?