The Graduation Speaker

The Graduation Speaker

I submitted this to my English 305 teacher.

My dad wouldn't look at me. I figured communication was the key to good

relationships, so telling him seemed like the best idea. My dad, however, didn't want to

communicate anymore- learning that his first son would not walk at High School

Graduation was communication enough.

At school, my peers congratulated me all day. My principle, early in the morning,

announced that the Student Body elected me to speak at graduation. It felt good.

Almost at once, everyone seemed to know who I was- the graduation speaker. In this role,

I held the responsibility to follow in the footsteps of Hitler, Clinton and other

influential leaders who also spoke at Apple Valley High School graduation

ceremonies. But, almost missing them in my dreams of fame, I noticed a pack of

teachers sizing me up. Finally, “You will not be speaking at Graduation,” my English

teacher spoke up. At that time, they weren't laughing, but I assumed they had

included me in a joke. Perhaps my new found fame earned me comradery with the

teachers, I thought. “Graduation is a requirement to be the speaker,” another chimed in

“and you will not be graduating.”

When school started, I registered for an English class and an AP English class.

The AP English class was an independent study, and I eventually forgot about it. I didn't

do any of the work, and I got an “F.” Because it was a higher level class, it replaced the

credit of my lower level class, so I would not have enough English credits, if I failed,

to graduate. My english teacher did fail me, and I lost it all: my ceremony, speech

and father. Even now, my father still won't have me, though, I don't blame him.

Great Passages and Quotes

Phantastes, by George MacDonald. "I have never concealed the fact that I regarded George MacDonald as my master; indeed, I fancy I have never written a book in which I did not quote from him." C.S. LEWIS Phantastes. "I learned that he that will be a hero, will barely be a man; that he that will be nothing but a doer of his work, is sure of his manhood. In nothing was my ideal lowered, or dimmed, or grown less precious; I only saw it too plainly, to set myself for a moment beside it. Indeed, my ideal soon became my life; whereas, formerly, my life had consisted in a vain attempt to behold, if not my ideal in myself, at least myself in my ideal. Now, however, I took, at first, what perhaps was a mistaken pleasure, in despising and degrading myself. Another self seemed to arise, like a white spirit from a dead man, from the dumb and trampled self of the past. Doubtless, this self must again die and be buried, and again, from its tomb, spring a winged child; but of this my history as yet bears not the record. Self will come to life even in the slaying of self; but there is ever something deeper and stronger than it, which will emerge at last from the unknown abysses of the soul: will it be as a solemn gloom, burning with eyes? or a clear morning after the rain? or a smiling child, that finds itself nowhere, and everywhere?" p. 166 "'This', I said to myself, 'is a true man. I will serve him, and give him all worship, seeing in him the imbodiment of what I would fain become. If I cannot be noble myself, I will yet be servant to his nobleness.'" p. 174 This part of the book, even though dealing with myth, made me wonder: "Am I focusing on becoming a Godly man rather than a 'servant to his nobleness?'" www.pradeepan.com "Yet I know that good is coming to me- that good is always coming; though few have at all times the simplicity and the courage to believe it." p. 185 These writings could inspire you.

Tampons.

This is my Mother.

This is a Tampon.

This semester, I entered the dastard's role of “Pastor’s Kid.”

My step-father accepted the pastoral position for a wee Lutheran church in Montebello, California. A lot of changes have taken place– especially for my mother, or “mummy,”as I call her.

In the mix, she's been caught off guard for two reasons:

1. The move from the noble North to the less noble south, California, has left her wondering why people pronounce the word “bag” wrong.

2. She isn’t familiar with the Christian sub-culture. She has been under the Lordship of Christ for less time than me, and hasn't adjusted yet. In case you didn't know, the sub-culture we've created is not normal. Though not the virgin time, this is the cause for the juxtaposition between mummy and the tampon.

Today’s conversation with mummy:

SCENE: Pradeepan’s Ben is sleeping between the cushions of the futon they call “the taco.” Ben’s 10:00 pm alarm is fifteen minutes from alarming him. After Pradeepan sits two hours on his green leather couch reading The Emerging Church, his phone rings. Lifting his thigh off the sticky cow hide allows him to grab and answer the phone before the second ring. Pradeepan, then compliments his mother for thirty minutes. Mummy changes the subject.

MUMMY (clearing her throat). Church service is good. We get many new people. One young couple brought a baby.

PRADEEPAN. Well done. I completely Honor you.

MUMMY (used to Pradeepan’s compliments). You know, I regret not learning how to play guitar the last five years when I had time. I could have even learned Spanish. I had time, but now I don’t. I only know bits and pieces.

PRADEEPAN (concerned). I do know mother-- I also do honor you.

MUMMY. It’s OK. The worship at church is still good. The lady still plays the organ, and Tim plays Trumpet.

PRADEEPAN. That is noteworthy.

MUMMY. I can’t play guitar, but Tim lets me play the Tampon. We pass four Tampons in the crowd and if people want they can play.

PRADEEPAN (honorably giggling) Tampon?

MUMMY. Yeah, I just kinda shake it.

END.

This use of Tampons in church may have not resulted because of her attempt to adjust in the Christian world. She may have meant Tambourine. Either way, being part of the Christian sub-culture, or women in general, is odd and giggle provoking.

Prove me wrong.

A story a girl wrote for me.

The Beauty Clause

In this world, there are three types of people, according to appearance of face. There are the ordinary people. They are the people of the common working class, the everyday house moms, and even the occasional doctor or lawyer. Their natural appearance isn’t anything to swing a bat at. In most cases meeting an ordinary person would rarely even create cause for a second glance. Their facial features are enough to get them by and keep them from being stared at on the streets as though they were members of the circus passing through town. And often in order to maintain some sense of identity, to sway away from the flock, they develop love affairs with irony and comedy, choosing laughter over normality. However, whether wig, hat or turban, they remain the majority of humanity. They are the simple smile on the face of the human race. However, if the ordinary people are the simple smile, the outrageously good-looking among them form that hint of dashing dimple in the cheek of humanity. The so-called “beautiful” people are those rare occurrences of shocking chiseled features and magnificent sets of hair, the reigning class of society. Their gleaming, straight teeth and flawless skin single them out in the flock; beautiful diamonds among ordinary pebbles. They too make you stop in your tracks on the street, but for a reason completely disconnected with the circus. Instead of staring in acute fascination or mild horror, you find yourself staring because of complete neurological failure. Their stunning good looks are breath-taking and usually the envy of all societal circles.

But then there are those that nature produces every once in a while that do not belong in either of these groups, an anomaly in the fabric of design. They are attractive but not overtly so. They are uncommonly striking and yet still free to travel the streets without causing traffic jams. They are also generally gifted with some form of uncanny charm, whether smooth or awkward. Their humor sets them above most of the common folk and their allure calms the societal balances of the beautiful. In short, both circles, whether common or uncommon, love them and fear them for their innate ability to move past the holds of appearance.

Pradeepan Jeevamanoharan was one of these people. He was attractive with a quick sense of humor and deep love for irony. He had flawless, dark skin, luxurious black curls and gleaming white teeth set in a wide smile which he inherited from his foreign ancestors of Sri Lanka. His sense of humor was innate, as much a part of his identity as the casual strut with which he walked. He loved the awkward side of life, and chose to hold fast to his unique status due to his appearance and demeanor. Even from childhood, he had an unsettling ability for swaying the girls and creating awkward moments based solely on dry humor. As he got older, he embraced further his uniqueness among society, often nicknaming himself and demanding that his friends call him by his new namesake. “Terminator” became a favorite of his, as it invoked both images that were masculine and alien unanimously. As a young adult, he realized that he had an unnatural talent for parlor tricks, wooing the crowds with twirling cell phones and stunning toe-clutching abilities. This seemed to only enhance his allure, as it both added to the paradox of his unique position and to the ease with which he charmed the public.

Pradeepan in time became something of a local phenomenon. He had grown up in the lower section of Chicago, living among the marketers and shop venders set against the warm brownstone of the apartment buildings. When he walked down the grubby streets in his slow, deliberate manner, men would lean out of wooden stands to have quick conversations, women would stop to push food on him, commenting on this thinness, and children would run up for quick jokes or a game that relied solely on toe-clutching. He was loved by all and hated by none. And Pradeepan loved them in return.

Yet, above them all, there was one that Pradeepan had admired most. Her name was Raquel Venici. She was one of the beautiful people, with long dark waves of gleaming hair and big, moist blue eyes. She had a small dimple high on both cheeks. Seeing her, the viewer was often taken back to images of kewpie dolls with their long lashes and pouting lips. She was also something of a local phenomenon. She was the prized daughter of the city’s famed plumber and in the eyes of her father untouchable, a challenge to all the young men in the area and making Raquel the equivalent of the Hope Diamond. Pradeepan had watched Raquel from afar ever since he was a boy and first realized how easy it was for him to get girls to like him. Even then Raquel had been beyond reach. After time Pradeepan had given up hope that he would ever date Raquel.

That was until yesterday, during a sleepless night in April. April is the awakening of large cities. Though the noise of traffic and street life never fades away, they diminish during the winter months when people rush to get home to their warm apartments. April however, welcomes back the full volume of the city with the entrance of the warmer weather. Unable to reach even the exhausted state of sleep, Pradeepan had crawled out of bed, pulled on an old, faded pair of jeans with a White Sox t-shirt and stepped out into the cool, night air. Walking in the direction of the park behind the school yards, he lowered his head and contemplated the cement beneath his meandering feet. And he had run head-long into Raquel. He had, in fact, bumped her so hard that she had rolled across the sidewalk to come to a wheezing rest on the flat of her back.

Staring in horror, Pradeepan had run to her side, raising her into a seated position. Her long hair was flipped forward over the front of her face, her legs straight out with her hands planted at her sides. Flipping back her head, Raquel pinned Pradeepan with a look of scorn.

“I am so sorry, Raquel. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He had stuttered.

“Well, I guess that is obvious now.” Raquel said as she got to her feet with Pradeepen’s aid. As she had stood, she yanked her arm out of his grip and looked down at her ruined pants. “I’m fine now. I was on my home anyway. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”

“Wait. At least let me walk you home. It’s the least I can do.”

“Oh, no, you’ve done enough, Pradeepan. I can make it from here.” Pradeepan paused in mid stride.

“You know me?”

“Who doesn’t?” Raquel said as she’d started down the street.

Pradeepan stood for a moment in silence before racing to catch up with her.

“Raquel, wait. I really am sorry. Let me make it up to you. Let me take you to dinner.”

Raquel stopped and sneered. “I don’t think I want to eat with someone who can’t even handle walking down an empty street.”

“Well, I guess I could just buy you some new pants.” He’d watched Raquel expectantly and jumped in surprise when she burst out laughing.

“You want to buy me pants? You are funny.” She’d smiled, wiping tears once her laughter subsided. “Alright, I’ll go out with you. But just once. Pick me up tomorrow night around seven.”
She had smiled softly at the shocked look on Pradeepan’s face and walked on down the street. Pradeepan had stood unmoving on the sidewalk, pooled in the light of the street light high above him, to watch Raquel move slowly toward her home three blocks away.

Now, sixteen hours later, Pradeepan was standing before the old carved, mahogany door of Venici home, trying now snap the stems of the pink tulips he held in his sweaty fist. He used the sweat and smoothed back the glossy curls away from his forehead.

Was he about to do this? Was he really going to take out Raquel Venici? Part of his brain was convinced that the events from the night before were only spirited hallucinations of a mind deprived of sleep and quiet. But the other part of brain, the part he fully intended to adhere to was cheering him on, raining on his ears constant and perpetual praise for a job well done. So, hitching up pants at the waist and placing his right foot firmly in front of him, he began his ascent up the cold, concrete steps of the front porch. Stopping abruptly, he swayed, trying to catch his balance with swinging arms. He was struck with a horrible and manhood-threatening thought.

“What if she didn’t like where they were going on the date? What if they had a horrible time?” Pradeepan’s knees shook slightly; his stomach a mass of greasy knots. “Of course, she’ll like it. She suggested it.” He planted his feet and examined the flowers. There weren’t too many heads missing. He climbed the rest of the steps precariously and dropped his fist down on the scarred door.

“I’m coming! Just putting my shoes on!” came a call from behind the door. The door opened to Raquel’s fresh face and a stream of angry English saturated by heavy Italian tones.

“You tell that boy, if he dates my daughter he will behave himself. One finger on you and I’ll rip that finger off! You tell him that from me! You hear me, Raquel? You tell him!” The Goliath shape of Mr. Viggo Venici loomed in the background waving a fist the size and shape of an Easter ham.

“Don’t worry, Papa! He’ll behave.” Raquel turned to find a much paler Pradeepan standing stonily on her porch. “Oh, come on. It’s okay. He threatens everyone like that. You should see him yelling at the White Sox.”

“Well I was pretty sure he wouldn’t snap me in half for the first date. I was amusing that would wait until the second or third date.” Pradeepan gave Raquel a warm, relaxed smile, now that they had moved at least a block away from the Venici house. “Come on, I have a great date planned.”

As they walked down the still rushed market streets, people ran up to Pradeepan to whistle and smirk. They smiled for him alone. Raquel on his arm seems to be only an attractive piece of Pradeepan’s ensemble, like a new hat or a fine, gold pocket watch. It was something Raquel did not miss. In fact, the further they walked and the more people who came with eyes only for Pradeepan, the further the deep flush over her cheeks spread. She was not used to not being noticed, and most especially not being noticed by her own date. Pradeepan, unaware of the internal confliction warring next to him, walked on clouds. His feet danced over the sidewalk. His smile stretched to encompass the city and warm every heart. He was out with Raquel Venici and the world loved him. It was perfect.

One block from the planned site of their date, Pradeepan’s skin was jumping with excitement. He had been nervous about choosing to take his date to this place. But now that everything was so perfect, he was sure he had chosen well.

“And here we are!” Pradeepan yelled as he turned Raquel to take in the fluorescent lights of the Banana Republic uptown. In the window a mannequin woman was modeling a bright turquoise skirt and a soft rose sweater. The other mannequin women next to her had on white capris with a tangerine top; the same pants Raquel had been wearing last night.

“I saw them this morning while I was walking around wondering where I should take you on our date. So, what do you think?” And for the first time since they had walked away from the old wooden door atop the cement stairs, Pradeepan looked Raquel in the face. The wide grin that had been stretched over his tan face fell, his lips closing over his gleaming teeth. Raquel’s face was now the shade of a ripe, red August tomato. Her moist blue eyes were now dry and bulging, two orbs sheltering a burning inferno. Her lips were a thin brown line drawn onto the tomato red of her face. Pradeepan flinched and instinctively took several steps back from her. Raquel’s mouth opened into a wide back void, swallowing most of her nose and lifting high into her cheekbones.

“You brought me to buy pants? You brought me to buy pants? What’s the matter with you?” Her words roared hollowly out of the empty space in her face. “I was joking, you idiot! I didn’t really want to buy pants!”

“I…I’m sorry. It was really j-just meant to be funny.” Pradeepan stammered. His feet which had just moments before floated above the ground, landed harshly back on the ground, rendering his knees jelly.

“I dint know why I ever agreed to this! I must have been out of my mind.” Raquel spun on heel and steamed back down the sidewalk like a freight train. People in her path leaped to the sides or pressed up against the display windows. Pradeepan ran after her and heard her mumbling. “They think he’s so wonderful…didn’t even speak to me…didn’t they see me…oh my god, he was going to buy me pants…he’s not that handsome….I’m more beautiful than he is….I know I am…”

“Wait, Raquel! What are you talking about? What’s wrong?” Pradeepan huffed breathlessly.

“Go away! I can’t date someone people think is more beautiful than I am. And definitely not some more beautiful who takes me on a date to buy pants!” she screamed over her shoulder.

Pradeepan stopped in the street. He stood silently as he watched Raquel storm away. On his face a look of shock was frozen on his face.

“She broke up with me because I’m beautiful?” He mumbled out loud. And in his head a rumor long disputed, one he had contemplated for a long time was confirmed. Women don’t date men who are better looking than them. A smile broke over Pradeepan's face, as he walked calmly back toward him home.

“I knew she couldn’t have been mad about the pants.” He said, relieved. “I mean, it was such a great idea.” He walked among the noise and traffic, the calls from friends; he walked tall. He was a wiser man; a better man; a man both beautiful and common. He was the loophole in the beauty clause.

Summer Highlights

South Africa Highlights:

• I spent over 24 hours waiting in airports, before and after boarding two separate 10 hour flights.
• After arriving in Durban, South Africa, I found that the city held the largest population Indians outside of India.
• I stayed in the best hotel in Durban, thanks to the Forsthoff family.
• I met incredible people such as Eric, Rhonda and Luke Forsthoff, Mike and Terry Miller, Bishop Dale Bronner, everybody at Young Life Church and the John Maxwell staff.
• I went boogie boarding, and body surfed in the best waves I've ever experienced.
• I Participated in John Maxwell's Million Leader Mandate by teaching hundreds of pastors, from various backgrounds, leadership principles.
• I went on a Safari, and hung out with a Cheetah.
• I Spoke and drummed at Young Life Church, an excited, God saturated, growing Church.
• I Received a word of prophecy from the Owner of Wimpy's (the Southern Hemisphere's equivalent to McDonald's).
• Finally, I spent over 24 hours waiting in airports, before and after boarding separate 10 hour flights. I am, however, not complaining because my dad recently waited 26 hours straight in JFK (a New York airport).

Comments:

• The trip was not what I expected. I never met John Maxwell.
• The trip was amazing. I learned from seasoned ministers, and saw Godly marriages in action. Also, Lucas sharpened me as a man of God.
• I had fun. We laughed a lot. Ministers should laugh a lot.
• I silenced a fancy shmancy restaurant with my raptor impression.

Wayne and Kristi Youth Evangelist Internship Highlights:

• In less than twelve hours after arriving in Minnesota from South Africa, I set drums up on stage for the Twin Cities Outreach.
• The Twin Cities Outreach specifically trained students to share their faith. In the mornings, I drummed for the worship services and speakers preached and prepared the students to minister for the rest of the day (an amazing method). Thousands of people heard the Gospel because of this ministry. The evangelism consisted of large stages that drew hundreds, street witnessing, service ministry (free stuff) and mingling within the community.
• I played bass for a week long junior high camp in Boone, Iowa.
• I played drums for a week long junior and senior high camp (600 campers) in Alabama.
• I drove a stick shift vehicle by myself for the first time (I split an 18 1/2 hour drive from Alabama to Minnesota).

Comments:

• I have a mentor in my life! Disciplers teach Christianity, but Mentors teach ministry. Wayne and Kristi, the evangelists I am interning with, have everyone traveling with them (Summer Carlson, Benjamin Block, Hannah Griffin, and Me) answer what we learned practically and spiritually everyone night after the service. Then he lets us ask as many questions as we want. On more than one occasion we've all stayed up past three in the morning for these mentor times.
• I have read more than ten books this summer on evangelism, and with this internship my knowledge and passion for it is growing rapidly.
• It seems that God is participating in our church services. People are getting healed, called to the ministry, baptized in the Holy Spirit, sanctified and saved. One guy with scoliosis had his spine straighten up instantly on stage, by the power of God. Another student, born blind in one eye, was also healed instantly. I'm seeing kids freak out in the presence of God and pursue Him with everything they got.
• The music in worship is free. There have been times where everybody on the stage was prostrate before God or knelt down. It's Prophetic worship.
• Teenage girls really like college musicians. Don't worry; the college musicians don’t like them back.
• I am blessed.

I'm still in my internship-- I have two camps left in Minnesota. In the future, I'll share more specific funny and powerful stories, but be content with the bullet points for now. Please pray for me. Experiencing, learning, and growing this much is challenging.

Why I like Writing

Larry and I have the same writing class and completed the same assignment:

Genesis 2:19 says "Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name." Writing is all about seeing, and I want to see. It even seems that God wants to see what I see. God brought all the animals to Adam, for this first task, to see what he would name them. In order for God to act this way, He must have known that something holy and creative lay dormant inside of Adam. Today, that same something is inside of me, and through writing, the world will see it. I want to be a writer so that the world can see what I see. Imagine a person ending a joke with "you had to be there." Jokes like this receive no laughter or credit, and the world is responding the same way towards the message of Christ. My writing is going to guide people through places they could have never gone, and will help them feel that they "were just there" and that it's possible to understand the joke. If the world saw what I saw, they would see a kingdom of Light, a Kingdom of Darkness, the joy of walking and the thrill of eating. The world is beautiful and I want to restore reverence to the profaned. As an evangelism major, my studies center on helping people to see the world as I see it. As a Christian, my focus is to see the world as God sees it. He has written eternity on my heart, and my writings are attempts to do the same for people living without the Savior. I want to be a writer so I can connect the world with The Kingdom.