The fear and restriction come from performance.
The unnatural sterility of delivering jokes comes every time I try to do stand up. This comedy gig is going to take a lot of work. I've been thinking of jokes all days. Ultimately I will have to get my performance down or I am going to get heckled or booed off the stage.
Performing in front of my family felt awkward, but the practice and criticism I receive is helpful. Because I don't have anything memorized, I read a lot of my skit. I talk too long in the setups and make everyone feel sad--not joyful. This is definitely not the goal.
You can see this in the video posted above. The second part of the video includes a second round of presenting the same material again. I pretty much sucked both times. I need to make progress!
I personally like the second take because my family suggested I try laughing to myself during the jokes--so that's what I did.