The 2019 Blogrimage Begins! [Autism + Nala 1/30]
For the next 30 days, I will write about my journey with Autism and process having a new daughter (March 12 is the due date!). Whether it’s in journaling, blogging or preparing for a sermon, I find that writing down words helps me navigate my own emotions. I look forward to journeying through all this with you!
For the next 30 days, I will write about my journey with Autism and process having a new daughter (Nala’s due date is March 12!). Whether it’s in journaling, blogging or preparing for a sermon, I find that writing down words helps me navigate my own emotions. I look forward to journeying through all this with you! If you want to join or learn what the Blogrimage is, click here!
Yesterday, Amreitha and I publicly shared, for the first time, Obi has been diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). You can see the picture and the writing below!
If you have questions or subjects you’d like me to cover, please let me know!
I feel like I’ve had two sons.
Until the age of two, Obi hit all of his milestones—crawling, walking and speaking over 40 words. He performed actions for songs and posed for pictures. He imitated our actions and smiled when seeing me. I haven’t seen my son act like this for over a year.
At age two, he stopped making eye contact, stopped engaging with humans, and stopped speaking all but one word. His tantrums started lasting hours instead of minutes and he no longer played catch. Obi is now 3 and has never called Amreitha or me “mom and dad.”
Thinking he’s stubborn or a late bloomer like his father, we brought him to a speech therapy center. After a team observed him for a couple of hours, they told us he needed to be evaluated for ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).
Amreitha and I never considered this possibility. Totally blindsided, I asked the therapists to repeat those words again. They did and our family entered a season of despair. Suddenly, like Obi, I lost my speaking ability.
I made a running list of all the dreams starting to die: potty training, Obi making friends, college, getting married, making me a grandpa, inheriting the family business, and living on his own.
After fighting for months and spending lots of money to get him officially evaluated, Obi received a diagnosis from two different doctors—regressive Autism.
1 in 37 boys are diagnosed with Autism.
Therapists told us there’s no hope for recovery and we shouldn’t grieve the loss of our son’s old personality. Rather, we should celebrate that he’s differently brained. We were told that Autism only moves in one direction—regression.
However, I do grieve. Facing this is the most painful challenge I’ve ever encountered. Tears, desperation, anger, and confusion have surrounded us. For months, I felt like I could pray for anything but my son.
Watching neurotypical children give up on playing with my unresponsive son is a pain I never saw coming. I never thought I’d be a father to a child with special needs.
Autism comes from the Greek word “autos” which indicates removal from social interaction. It means Obi is alone.
I try to so hard to enter his world. I pray everyday he’s not alone. Without hesitation, I’d take any disorder from my son and enter his world.
In the midst of this darkness, God spoke to my pregnant wife, “I am healing your son.” Even against those who tell me this Autism only regresses, I cling to these words. I am unwilling to give up on hope. We are fighting for our son. In the last 6 months, we’ve read dozens of books, changed Obi’s diet and enrolled him in 6 therapy sessions a week.
In the first month, eye contact came back. In the second month, he started repeating words again. In the third month, he began pointing for the first time. In the fourth month, he started asking me to read books with him for the first time. In the fifth month, he started potty training. Last Tuesday, he peed in the toilet 11 times without one accident. We are progressing.
I’m okay with adjusting my dreams, and I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I will not give up on hope—while celebrating what makes Obi special and different.
God did not give Obi a disorder, but I believe God will use this for good. God will not leave Obi alone. Autism does not define Obi—God does.
I’m sharing this so you will join us in prayer, support, and this overcoming story. We can’t do this alone. Thank you to all who have gotten us this far.
All in all, as for me and my house, we will praise Jesus. We won’t just glorify God at the beginning or the end, but right here in the middle of the storm.
Build Day [HOMEMAKER DAY 24]
The main part of the structure is built! It's been a lot of planning and collecting supplies, but now we have something physical.
The main part of the structure is built! It's been a lot of planning and collecting supplies, but now we have something physical.
Today, a bunch of amazing men came over to help me build the shack/house/home/hut/structure/building (what should I call it?!). We worked for several hours and had a blast. Without these guys, I do not know what I would have done!
We built the walls, floor, and roof. Now we need to figure out what's going on with the door and interior. I'm thinking about making a collapsable bench system for the interior. For the door, I'm thinking about a bead door or a canvas drape.
This week, I don't have to collect anymore pallets! I'm going to focus on the interior! If you have any ideas or supplies, let me know.
Splinter [HOMEMAKER DAY 20]
I've gotten a bunch of splinters from moving pallets around. Not the rat from TMNT, but little pieces of wood under my skin.
Buy Nothing Bellevue [HOMEMAKER DAY 18 & 19]
There's a private facebook group called, "Buy Nothing Bellevue" for exchanging goods with people geographically close.
There's a private facebook group called, "Buy Nothing Bellevue" for exchanging goods with people geographically close. I saw some pallets on the group, got the address, and picked them up. Mission accomplish. I'm gathering more materials for the Saturday build day.
Help from the guys [HOMEMAKER DAY 17]
Had some of the guys come over to look at the structure. They realized this project was much cooler than they’d originally imagined. There excitement excites me, and I think we’ll be hanging out in this thing during the summer.
Had some of the guys come over to look at the structure. They realized this project was much cooler than they’d originally imagined. There excitement excites me, and I think we’ll be hanging out in this thing during the summer.
They gave me some ideas on how to build this thing. We scheduled a build day for next week. Before then, I need to gather about 16 more pallets and buy some supplies (screws, vinyl, etc).
They gave me some great thoughts on ways I can build this.
We talked about wrapping the whole thing with a came or canvas tarp, bracing the tree with ratchet (hammock) straps, and ideal ways to roof.
I’ve realized that I don’t really want to over complicated this. I want it to feel like a kid’s fort and not a a polished home (I already have one of those!).
Feeling it out [HOMEMAKER DAY 16]
Today, I brought the pallets to the building site. With projects and leadership, I tend to be more artist than scientist. For me, feeling things out is really important. So, I just started experimenting with shapes and locations today.
Today, I brought the pallets to the building site. With projects and leadership, I tend to be more artist than scientist. For me, feeling things out is really important. So, I just started experimenting with shapes and locations today.
Seeing everything there is making me more excited. Also, I may want to build on the ground. The area is already elevated, which feels really good even if we build on the ground.
I think it will be easier to have more space on the ground, but being in the air will be way cooler.