Miracle School [Autism + Nala 7/30]

After spending thousands of dollars for the diagnosis, we were unable to find a school for Obi. With the increased amount of ASD in America, schools were at capacity.

My wife Amreitha and I visited, called and begged schools to let our son in. We heard from other parents that “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” so we squeaked like crazy. Eventually, Amreitha reached out to a school called “Jigsaw Junction” in Kirkland, Washington. Our son had just been kicked out of a daycare program because of several poop smearing situations and we were desperate.

Amreitha begged for them to let us in. After many tears, and to our surprise, they held a spot for Obadiah and actually accepted our insurance. We met them in person and shared our story. We shared we were told Obi couldn’t improve. Jigsaw Junction said it was okay for us to hope and they believed our son can have a bright future. I asked if they’d kick our our son in the case of a poop smearing situation. They laughed and said they would never kick Obi out for something like that—they’d help him overcome it.

We cried and cried for their kindness and availability. This school truly is an answer to prayer.

Tomorrow, I’ll share about what they do and how impressed we are with their process.

Getting in Therapy [Autism + Nala 6/30]

Once Obi received his second official diagnosis for ASD, we had the hard job of getting Obi in therapy. Since it was summer, most schools were at capacity or unwilling to take students. Amreitha and I talked to dozens of schools on the phone, filled out dozens of applications on websites, and drove to every school we could find near our home. Just getting Obi into a classroom setting required us to work full time hours. The number of kids with ASD seems to be growing and a lot of these centers can’t handle it. As a parent, you have to fight hard to get in.

My heart goes out to those without flexible schedules. If Amreitha and I didn’t both work from home, I don’t know how we could have gotten Obi into a school.

Tomorrow, I’ll talk more about the miracle school we found.

Autism is Expensive [Autism + Nala 5/30]

Diagnosis. Diet. Occupational Therapy. Doctors. Speech Therapy. Supplements. ABA Therapy.

We have spent thousands of dollars (while church planting) in setting up Obi for success. As we’ve asked for general prayer, I’m incredibly grateful for people who financially invested in Obi’s future wth no strings attached. Healthcare in general while starting a non-profit is extremely expensive, but adding all of this extra stuff—not even including the research and books and time costs—is a massive burden.

When I lived in Korea, private healthcare was so inexpensive—anybody could afford it. I remember doctors telling me I didn’t have to use the emergency room every time I visited, and if I made an appointment for check ups, I’d save a lot of money. The bills I paid for emergency room visits during a few bouts with Tonsillitis were approximately $15, so I didn’t mind paying for an emergency room. That was with no insurance.

Now, with really high insurance premiums, deductibles, treatments and the speech therapy (that insurance doesn’t cover), this diagnosis is costing us a lot.

Praise God for people who have given generously to help with all this. My heart goes out to people who aren’t able to afford what is available for their kids with Autism.

Hard to Pray [Autism + Nala 4/30]

Amreitha and I sing a song, kiss and pray for Obi every night. We’ve prayed for him daily before he was even born.

Yet, with all those prayers, he still faced difficulties and setbacks (just like most kids). In other areas of my life, I saw God directly answer so many prayers. We started a church in Seattle, experienced so many stories of life change, saw miraculous financial provision and even witnessed physical healings, Yet, our son kept on losing language, eye contact and his ability to engage. I’d exchange one thousand of those answered prayers for for my son’s health.

We still pray, but it’s hard. There’s no guarantee things work out how we want or when we want. Even so, we’ve learned to pray hardest when it’s hard to pray. And I pray that the Lord’s will is done on Earth as it is in Heaven. We all stand in between the already and not yet. Jesus defeated death on the cross, but Christians are called to enforce that victory until one day every tear is wiped away. Until that day, I’ll keep praying hard.

Dad Guilt [Autism + Nala 3/30]

After Obi got diagnosed with ASD, I felt guilty about being sad. There are so many wonderful people with Autism and so many people dealing with “worse” issues. How could I feel sad? Plus, so many people, in the name of encouraging me, shared that I should celebrate the uniqueness of my son. “There are so many special people with Autism in the world” and “Have you heard of this person with Autism?” were phrases that added to my guilt.

I will love my son no matter what. I’m proud of my son no matter what. I’m not grieving my son. I’m grieving the loss of certain expectations, dreams and the relationship I used to have with my son.

I understand people are trying to encourage me, and I appreciate that. The thing is, I’ve needed time to be sad without feeling guilty. It’s not only outside forces adding to guilt, it’s my inner voice. It’s me telling myself I’m a bad person. Bad because I’m jealous of other kids. Bad because there might have been something I did to cause this. Bad because I have no clue how to fix it.

In all, I’m thankful to serve a God who turns my mourning into dancing.

Why share now? [Autism + Nala 2/30]

We waited 6 months to publicly share about Obi’s ASD diagnosis. It’s a big deal. Since we posted two days ago, hundreds of people have responded with love, encouragement and prayers. If you are one of them, thank you so much!

A few parents also reached out to let us know they are privately dealing with the same diagnosis with their children and are not ready to share yet. It’s a big deal to share something like this, and I completely understand why some might not be ready to share yet…or at all.

I wanted to share our journey for a couple of reasons.

First, I hate concealing matters heavy on my heart. If I’m obsessed about something, I want to share it—that’s probably why I’m a preacher.

Second, (I say this point hesitantly), I want to get advice and help from others. I’ve learned a lot from discussion boards, overhearing conversations, and if there’s something out there that will help Obi, I want it. I’m hesitant because I might be opening up a can of crazy advice worms.

Third, I want people to know that, if they are dealing with something like this, they are not alone. I want to be a blessing to others—sharing advice, experience, and comfort. Too often, we think we are alone and the only one dealing with a specific issue. Then, we realize someone else understands how we think and we feel a little less alone. I hope I can be that for someone else.

If you have advice or need advice, let me know in a considerate way!